Happy Fall

For all those wondering, and I'm sure it's all of you, I feel like I've been able to embrace Fall finally.  Yesterday I made applesauce - what a chore!  But, my family loves it and I feel so good feeding it to them!  It actually worked out perfectly because Hans and his Dad were here working on his Dad's computer and they were great at entertaining the girls while I worked.  They even took both girls with them when they had to run out to the store, and they brought back dinner - blessed! So applesauce is in the freezer.

On Saturday Hans cooked a turkey for us - what a man!  It was delicious!  I know, you're thinking, turkey on a random September weekend?  Well, we have great neighbors and a few months ago they gave us a turkey they weren't going to use.  So, it's been in our freezer, and I decided it was time to use it.  Of course, I gave my husband the honors.  He did such a great job.  His parents came over to enjoy it with us and the rest is in the freezer... for soup... or... anyone have some great leftover turkey recipes?  I really wanted to get some pictures of Hans in the kitchen, but I forgot :(

We also had a fun little campfire at my parents the other night to celebrate Fall... oh and the fact that Monica and Mwita were visiting :)  I just love my family and that we love each other.

Here are a few pictures, starting off with the new Fall wreath I made for the front door and the fun leaf garland in the living room.

This little girl loves to play!  It's so fun watching her explore and learn.

My sweetie.  We are starting a little preschool class a few days a week.  More details to come on that.

Changing Seasons

There's something about the changing of seasons that makes me feel restless somehow... ready to move on to the next thing, but always a little hesitant to leave anything behind.

Especially as Summer turns to Fall I feel this little spark of joy mixed with a tinge of sorrow. See really I thrive on the changing of seasons.  I'm not the kind of person that wants something to stay the same way all the time.  As long Summer nights turn into crisp Autumn mornings something new begins to wake... new ideas, new excursions, new routines.

Then there is always that thought of what I missed.  Did we spend enough time soaking up the sun, splashing in water, letting popsicles drip off our chins? Did we have enough picnics and walks to the park?  Did I pick enough flowers and eat enough tomatoes straight from own garden?

And then the list gets sillier... I didn't pull enough weeds, I didn't tend to that garden at all.  I'm sure I didn't let enough fresh air into our house and into those little lungs that I'm responsible for.  We should have eaten more summer produce and gotten more exercise. We should have, we would, we could have.... does anyone else do this?

However, here I am. On a day that definitely feels like Fall, and I've been doing this in between thing for a few weeks now.  It's time to commit!  All the summer clothes were finally put away this morning.  The girls and I are headed to the orchard after naps to pick up some delicious apples - I see apple pie and applesauce in our future!  I'm going to be intentional about Fall and not mournful about Summer.  Maybe someday all of my ambitions will come to pass, but either way - Here's to Fall and the moment!

A cupcake party!

We celebrated Brielle's first birthday with a cupcake party on Sunday afternoon!  Here are a few pictures of the festivities!

Here is the giant cupcake. I was pleased with how it turned out.  It was lemon cake with a blackberry filling and blackberry buttercream icing.  Sorry to all the party-goers but it tasted even better the next day!

Here's the birthday girl.  Natalie, of course, had to help blow out the candle.

Brielle was intrigued by the texture of the icing.

After I held it up to her mouth she realized it also tasted good!  She pretty much consumed that whole cupcake.  I'm disappointed that I didn't get a picture of the consumption!

Here we are post consumption :)

On the day of her birthday we gave her a first taste of an ice cream cone (to make Mamaw and Pappy Lehman proud).  It was, of course, a hit!

 Here she is with one of her presents.

Happy Birthday, Baby Brielle!

My baby turned one today.  How does that happen?  That little baby that has kept us on our toes since day one.  The one the doctors could not find in the beginning, the one that danced around in my belly, the one that arrived five weeks early.  The tiny little girl that slept away her first days, weeks, almost months. The girl with the blue eyes that did not go away and the blonde hair that began to sprout.  That baby that began to laugh with her eyes, her smile, her whole belly.  The one that started to move and explore and just won't stop.  My sweet, sweet girl.  How much delight you bring to our lives.  Happy birthday!

Follow -Up

I've been sitting here for a little too long trying to figure out how to follow up my last post. I was so encouraged and challenged and a bit overwhelmed by the response.  I really am surrounded by so many super women! I know deep down that I am not alone in this journey, but sometimes it's so easy to forget and to just keep moving on alone. Thank you for letting me see into many of your hearts and souls.  Please challenge me to allow you to see into mine as well.  I did not clean my bathrooms today, I was frustrated  with my girls (and acted out of that frustration) a time or two, but I loved and I lived and I will go for it again tomorrow.  Thanks for coming with me!

Stirrings

So many things have been stirring in my heart over the past weeks.  So, I go about all these things I do.  Loving my kids (and I wish I was better at that all the time), loving my husband (again, so not perfectly), cleaning my house, buying groceries, cooking food, a little sleep, a little media (a little less recently - working on that) and that seems like a day.  And all these stirrings get pushed to another time and place.  Meanwhile, souls are hurting; dreams are dying; children are growing up (way too fast!). And in the quiet of the evenings and those little in between moments in my day I'm left wondering, "what is all this about?"  All these things I do? And all these things I do not? Stirrings.

In the middle of this I feel beaten down.  My self esteem is hit to the core.  I feel unimportant and unattractive, and misunderstood.  And I don't write this so the compliments can be heaped on.  I'm ok.  I recognize the work of the enemy.  I write this because I know I'm not alone.  This enemy is not just after me.  He's after you.   He's after the woman that in your mind is perfect.  He's after the woman that you know is imperfect.  He wants us all.  Why do we keep buying it?

So many times recently I've heard women list their accomplishments only to downplay them in the next breathe.  I get it.  I've done it.  But here's the thing - maybe you really are Super Mom, or Super Wife, or Super Woman.  Not perfect anybody, but Super.  I know you yelled at your kids, and you were short with your husband, and you didn't clean your bathrooms.  I'm there far too many days also (and let's work on that together), but if you woke up, and you loved (not perfectly, but intentionally), and you lived I think you were pretty super.  Let's do it again tomorrow and work on those areas that need it, but allow grace to cover it all.

And maybe most importantly, let's be real.  With the beauty and with the pain.  Let's list our accomplishments with pride and share our failures with integrity.  We are not perfect, but if we are trying at all I believe we are being perfected.  Let's reach out.  I might not know that there is pain behind your eyes, or fear hidden behind your words, but really the only thing that is stopping me from finding out is my own fear and my own pride.  So I'm being stirred.  To seek, to find.  Please join me.

Summer Produce

This is the fresh produce that ended up on my counter yesterday evening.  Blessed!  My girls go through fruit (er, um food in general - I have two really good eaters on my hands!)  like crazy, which I love until I look at my grocery budget :)  My mom also helped me can some tomato juice.  I love summertime!

Here's one of my good little eaters.  Cannot believe she will have a birthday in two weeks - gasp!!

Happy Saturday!