A Picnic in the Park

I took these pictures of my kids today. It was the picnic that was the last ditch effort to save the day.  Daddy was coming home late and the day had been rough already and just maybe a picnic and a walk and a few pushes on the swings would redeem it.  Just maybe. 

 And the truth is it was lovely.  We got out, we breathed fresh air, we enjoyed one another.  And then we came home and things were right back where we started.  And these are the pictures I have to commemorate the day.  Not a picture of a fit being thrown, or a mess being made, or a fight being picked, or a voice being raised. Not a peek into the unkind words, the over the top tears, the real messiness of it all. Just these pictures of my kids enjoying a picnic.  

My heart hurts knowing that life is hard and there will be days when I fail horribly and there may be wounds. Days like today when I am just sure we are all beyond redemption. I wish I could perfectly lead my children to their Creator, but I haven't, I can't - not perfectly. But I know there are moments to be celebrated, like a picnic in the park. Times when I get it and they get it. Little slices of time when my loving on them is showing them the love of their Father. So I rejoice in these moments I have and pray God's grace over a new day, a fresh start.  

New House and Birthday Fun!

Well, we moved - the middle of June.  I guess it's about time I added it to the blog!  Hans laughs at this picture because he says it's about the best picture possible of this old house. Kind of true.  I will be more than happy to show off the "character" of the house to anyone who wants to stop in.  And I plan to add before and after pictures as we make improvements.  We are loving the space and staying busy working on the house and yard as we still try to enjoy some Summertime!

One of the reasons I wanted a bigger house (and prayed we could move before Summer) was because all my children have Summer birthdays and I just love celebrating them.  Our old house was just too tight to do it very well.  Well, we have celebrated the past two weeks.  We hosted our first two parties on our porch! First we celebrated my Mom's 60th with some friends and family.  So much fun and a perfect day to be on the porch. 

Surprise!

 Natalie turned five!  Cannot believe it.  This little girl is growing up.  She will be starting Kindergarten in a few weeks.  We are homeschooling her this year.  Not what I ever expected or planned, but I feel good about it and think it's where we are supposed to be for now.

 We had a double party for Natalie and her sweet cousin Rylee (who turned four) at Grandma and Pappy's house.

Complete with a pinata and water balloons and lots of cousin fun!

Our 2nd porch party was for this little guy who turned one on the 22nd!  Sweetie pie...  I just love this boy and his snuggles.  His original party date had to be cancelled because he had a bad case of hand, foot and mouth (a first for us - no fun at all!) But the rescheduled date was a success and I'm so glad we waited until he was feeling better.

He was quite delighted with his icing!

and his presents!

We are taking a break from the busyness and heading to the beach next week.  There's just something about the beach - cannot wait!

Little Man

My little man is growing up.  He's 10 months old already!  He is crawling everywhere, just learned that he loves the steps, will stand on his own for a second or two, cruises around the furniture, chases and attacks his sisters to snuggle, is just a snuggle bug in general, loves being outside, loves to eat (especially if he can feed himself) and is finally getting two bottom teeth.

We just love our little Ryder man!

Running Towards More

When we ask for more from God, He answers.  Often in ways beyond our expectations.  I had no idea when I was writing my last post about leaving boxes behind and running towards the more God has for us that a season in our life was going to change so quickly, but God is good like that and knows the perfect timing in our lives.

Hans and I started talking about buying a bigger house probably around the time I was expecting Ryder and we had to clear out our third bedroom/office to make room for him. Our townhouse seemed to be getting smaller and smaller, but a bigger place and the bigger mortgage we expected to come with it seemed a little beyond our reach.  We moved the office into our bedroom and continued to rearrange as necessary to allow this house to meet our needs.

Then over the long winter and countless times of feeling unable to entertain and really expand and grow here we began to dream about a bigger place.  One Saturday in March I came home from running errands and Hans somewhat randomly said, "Let's go look at some houses".  It's not really characteristic of my husband to say "let's go out" at all and so I laid aside thoughts of naptime to catch this vision.  I'm so glad I did.  I believe that little trip planted a seed in my heart to begin to dream and most importantly pray.

I had been reading a book "The Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson.  And I started to pray circles around this dream of having a bigger house to expand however God wanted us to.  None of the houses we looked at that day in March really clicked in our Spirit, but then one day Hans found another house online and we drove by to look at it.  This house clicked and we started asking God for it.  One evening I drove past the house to say a little prayer over it and realized it was coming up for auction (something we had missed previously). In fact, the auction was two weeks away.  We had no idea what to expect, but we believed this was the house God had for us.  We were blessed to be able to borrow the necessary down payment needed for the auction from a family friend and showed up on April 17th waiting to see God at work.  We walked away that day owning a new, much bigger home for less than we had paid for our current home.  God is awesome!

We are continuing this journey of running forward and breaking our boxes to see God at work.  More to come!

From Crawling to Running

Anyone that has been following our journey closely at all recently, knows that the past year has been full of ups and downs for us - that's any journey really.  Lately God has been revealing some things to me about this journey that is personal to me, but that I also feel others could relate to their own journey.  So I wanted to share some of it here.  Hopefully someone else can be encouraged and if nothing else I can get some of my thoughts pulled together :)

Last week a friend of ours had a dream about Ryder.  In the dream he was just as he is now.  A seven month old baby.  Not quite crawling, not pulling himself up yet.  And yet, as this friend saw him in the dream he began to get up.  He was standing and then he was running - just as he is now, a baby. He went from crawling to running.

When she shared this dream with me my first thought was in the physical realm, "Oh, no! I'm not ready for that.  He's supposed to be the laid-back one!" Later, as Hans and I were praying for Ryder after his bout with the flu and even more nights with very little sleep, this dream took on a new meaning.  I began to see Ryder's spirit go from crawling along to running, to pursuing his destiny.  I began to see our lives going from this fog of sleeplessness and busyness to running along and going after those things God has in store for us. All of a sudden I saw God's heart for us.  And it wasn't for us to remain as crawlers, just getting by.  It was to rise up, even when it seemed impossible and unlikely, and to run.

As this relates to Ryder, I had to laugh at myself a little.  We named this little guy Ryder Elisha.  We felt that was the name we were supposed to give him.  He's a "Warrior"  "Prophet". And then we expected him to come into this world and into our little family and to be at rest and to ease right in to this nice little space we had for him.  I wonder how much God has chuckled at us over the past few months.  I still believe God has good sleep and health and peace in store for Ryder.  We are beginning to see that.  But the boy isn't going to fit into a box.  He has a purpose.  He has a destiny, and I don't think it has much to do with being a restful little guy that lies around and doesn't cause any disturbances!

I believe Ryder's birth and the months since then have signified a change of pace for Hans and I as well.  God is beginning to take us into a new season.  See often I want the things of God, but I want to be at rest.  I want them to come in and fit into the nice little spot I have created for them.  I want it to all look nice and sweet.  But see, the problem is that I don't think the call God has for Hans and me has much to do with sitting around and not causing any disturbances either.  God has good things in store, but it doesn't come in the neat little package I expect sometimes.

I am determined, that as we seek God, we will go from crawling to running.  We don't have to linger in this phase anymore where we can make it, we can get around, but it's just not that productive.  God has more in store for our family and He has more in store for you. Crawling is an important step.  This season has been one of growth.  It has been needed, just as crawling is an important milestone for a baby. But it's not a season to dwell in. I want more for Ryder than for him to crawl the rest of his life.  God wants more for me too. I am called to be a runner. I guess I'll have to leave a few boxes behind.

Crawling is good and even necessary for a season,

but there is so much more joy and freedom that comes when we run

Choosing Joy

Today I have a choice. I can give in to the despair that sickness and more sleepless nights lays so clearly in front of me, or I can choose joy. Choose to see blessing where my tired mind sees curses. Choose to see happiness where fatigue begs to see only sadness. I know in the big picture it's clearly better to choose joy, but often in the moment I can only see the dirty house, the crusty noses, the piles of laundry, the hungry bellies. I know in the greater scheme happiness is the key, but so often I only feel the overwhelming responsibility of it all, the exhaustion, the sense of defeat.

Today I am taking a moment, and I'm choosing well. I will post it all over the house if I have to because today I choose joy. I choose life. I choose to see my blessings in the midst of the moment, and I will choose grace when I fail. It's my choice.

Sweet Boy is 6 Months!

My little man is 6 months old today!  

He's a sweet happy little guy.

With a serious side.  He will have to check you out before he breaks into that grin of his.

He's getting so big.  I think with each baby I try to slow down time more and more and am less eager for them to hit the next milestone.

Ryder LOVES his sisters and they are the best babysitters a mommy could ask for (sorry about the crazy girl hair, but this is real life after all!)

Happy six months sweet boy!

At six months I am:

• Rolling from my belly to back
• Starting to scoot around
• Keeping my blue eyes!
• Eating like a big boy - love squash and pears, not a big fan of peas
• Loving my bouncy seat but also enjoying the exersaucer and bumbo when it means I can be close to mommy while she cooks :)
• Smiling and laughing a lot- especially for my sisters
• Putting anything I can get a hold of into my mouth
• Teething, but no teeth yet and drooling a lot (as you can tell from my       pictures)
• Pretty laid-back, except for when it's time to sleep!
• Making Mommy and Daddy very happy and proud!