Stirrings

So many things have been stirring in my heart over the past weeks.  So, I go about all these things I do.  Loving my kids (and I wish I was better at that all the time), loving my husband (again, so not perfectly), cleaning my house, buying groceries, cooking food, a little sleep, a little media (a little less recently - working on that) and that seems like a day.  And all these stirrings get pushed to another time and place.  Meanwhile, souls are hurting; dreams are dying; children are growing up (way too fast!). And in the quiet of the evenings and those little in between moments in my day I'm left wondering, "what is all this about?"  All these things I do? And all these things I do not? Stirrings.

In the middle of this I feel beaten down.  My self esteem is hit to the core.  I feel unimportant and unattractive, and misunderstood.  And I don't write this so the compliments can be heaped on.  I'm ok.  I recognize the work of the enemy.  I write this because I know I'm not alone.  This enemy is not just after me.  He's after you.   He's after the woman that in your mind is perfect.  He's after the woman that you know is imperfect.  He wants us all.  Why do we keep buying it?

So many times recently I've heard women list their accomplishments only to downplay them in the next breathe.  I get it.  I've done it.  But here's the thing - maybe you really are Super Mom, or Super Wife, or Super Woman.  Not perfect anybody, but Super.  I know you yelled at your kids, and you were short with your husband, and you didn't clean your bathrooms.  I'm there far too many days also (and let's work on that together), but if you woke up, and you loved (not perfectly, but intentionally), and you lived I think you were pretty super.  Let's do it again tomorrow and work on those areas that need it, but allow grace to cover it all.

And maybe most importantly, let's be real.  With the beauty and with the pain.  Let's list our accomplishments with pride and share our failures with integrity.  We are not perfect, but if we are trying at all I believe we are being perfected.  Let's reach out.  I might not know that there is pain behind your eyes, or fear hidden behind your words, but really the only thing that is stopping me from finding out is my own fear and my own pride.  So I'm being stirred.  To seek, to find.  Please join me.

Summer Produce

This is the fresh produce that ended up on my counter yesterday evening.  Blessed!  My girls go through fruit (er, um food in general - I have two really good eaters on my hands!)  like crazy, which I love until I look at my grocery budget :)  My mom also helped me can some tomato juice.  I love summertime!

Here's one of my good little eaters.  Cannot believe she will have a birthday in two weeks - gasp!!

Happy Saturday!

A Purple Party

Natalie decided months ago that she wanted to celebrate her 3rd birthday with a purple party.  I thought it might be a fun theme, so we ran with it!  Here's a peek at the festivities.  A highlight for Natalie was that all of her cousins were there and the party was at Grammy and Pappy's which was a must for her!

We asked all the guests to come dressed in purple! Here are 3 of Natalie's special cousins.

Cake and candy!

The giant 3!  It looks a little gray, but really it's "hyacinth" :)

Amirah and her party hat

Time to eat!

I decided to make a purple ombre cake and was happy with how it turned out

The birthday girl with her cake and ice cream.  

There are always a lot of present helpers :)

My mom made this adorable dress for her.  Natalie was quite pleased with herself in it.

Cousins!

Happy birthday, Natalie Jade. 

Happy 3rd Birthday, Natalie Jade!

This morning is one of those times when I wish I could make time stand still... just a little.  My baby girl is three and growing and changing so fast that sometimes I'm afraid I can't keep up.  I can't be intentional enough; I can't seize all these moments.  She is a beautiful girl.  Sometimes I am struck by her beauty, inside and out, and wonder how it is that she was gifted to us.

Natalie, thank you so much for being you.  You have changed our lives in so many ways.  You have taught us how to love in a way I never thought possible.  I love your mind - how you think and analyze and think some more.  I love how to you the world is black and white.  And even though I know that perspective will be rocked as you grow older ,I pray you never lose your sense of justice.  I think you will be a justice fighter.  From day one, I've said you have a big voice - don't ever let it grow quiet.  Continue to ask the questions no one can answer.

You are beautiful on the outside - those eyes, those curls!  But never forget your true beauty lies within you.  You are a daughter of the Most High and have been created by Him for Him.  I love the beauty within you.  How you long to help and serve others.  You are so sweet with your sister.  You test the limits, but I know you will always take care of her.  The other day I walked into your room and she had her head on your lap and I knew the two of you would be ok together.  Thank you.

Thank you for your "I love you so much" hugs; for your songs; and made up words; for the way you lose yourself in playing anytime, anywhere.

Happy birthday, sweet girl!  Thanks for rocking my world.

Summer Snapshots

We are loving us some summertime here at the Lehman house.  Our weekends have been busy, busy but the weekdays have been low key lately and I'm ok with that.  These girls have been keeping me entertained.  I cannot believe how much they are growing, changing, learning.  We will be celebrating Natalie's third birthday next week and Brielle's first in another month!  That kind of makes me want to cry.  It's in these moments that I realize I must savor, savor, savor these days! Here is a sneak peek into what's been keeping us busy. I cannot possibly look at these pictures without realizing just how blessed I am!


Hans with Natalie and Amirah at the fireworks.  Such joy in this picture.

Brielle's first time in a pool.  She liked it, but what she likes even more is the sprinkler!  This little girl is hilarious and has little fear.

Natalie loves the water!  She surprised us by jumping off the diving board (with her floaties and Hans there to catch her).  She is usually cautious, but not so much when it comes to swimming. 

Brielle loves her Pappy and I love the amount of time he spends loving on my girls.

Uncle Mwita is always a big hit!

Lake Tobias - this was a fun, hot day.  Natalie really enjoyed feeding the animals on the Safari and chasing the goats at the petting zoo.  Brielle was a trooper.

Summer "Projects"

I really want to make these warm days count and enjoy Summertime with a almost 3 year old and almost one year old (wow!)  So, Natalie and I are tackling some Summer "projects". We've had so much fun.  Other than these activities, we've also been playing in lots of water.  Both girls love splashing.  I fill up a few buckets and the little pool and let them splash away.

Project #1 was our  giant ice block.  We did this while Amirah was with us.  Both girls loved it and stuck with it longer than I expected. Even Brielle got in on the action (mainly to use the ice block as a tool with which to stand up).  

Project #2 was making homemade slime.  This has been on my list for awhile, but I never got around to buying the ingredients.  It turned out great and was simple to make.  In fact, we still have it and Natalie will get it out from time to time to play with it.  I guess the borax is toxic, so this is best as a supervised project.

Project #3 was bathtub paint.  Natalie and I did this to fill some time one evening while Hans was away and Brielle was already in bed.  She loved it.  It was so easy to make, contain, and clean up!  Next time I will add a little less water.  I doubled the recipe, but I wouldn't have needed to.  A little goes a long way.  Also, I'm funny about bathtub pictures of my kids on the internet, so all you get to see is the paint on this one.  

Project #4 was fizzy sidewalk paint.  Natalie especially loved spraying the paintings with vinegar.  This girl loves her spray bottle.  That was one of the best investments ($0.98 at Walmart) that I've made this summer.  Mostly we use water, not vinegar.  But the fizz was so fun! 

My project is planning the girls birthday parties.  Natalie is having a purple party and Brielle is having a cupcake party.  I will show these projects after the fact, but I am staying busy during nap time getting things ready!

Happy Daddy's Day!

Happy Father's Day! I know I'm a little behind, but two days isn't that bad, right? My blogging time seems to have been eaten up by a baby who doesn't like to take very long afternoon naps very often.  In fact, she is awake right now, in her crib, waiting for me.  So, here's my quick Father's Day Tribute to the wonderful Daddy of my beautiful babies and my own amazing Dad.  I have been so blessed!


Natalie LOVES as much time as she can possibly get with her Daddy.  Yesterday, she was content to sit out in the work van (well, sit may not quite be the right word) while her Daddy worked on it.  She was probably out there for a couple hours all together.  She also likes to sit up in his office and "tinker" with his things.  Yes, she is her father's daughter. I see so much of him in her which is really a beautiful thing.  

Brielle delights in the sight of her Daddy.  I love that line.  There is so much I can learn from watching my girls and their Dad.  Her face lights up at the sight of him and her legs begin to squirm.  "Please, get me Daddy!" You can see it all over her.  Pure joy.  

Hans, thank you so much for being the kind of Daddy that plays, and laughs, and teaches.  I love you and love how you love!

To my own Dad, thank you for preparing me to be a wife and a mother.  Thank you for teaching me how to love and how to learn.  Thanks for instilling in me vision and the ability to see beyond the here and now.  I love you so much.  So much of who I am and where I'm at is because of who you were and continue to be and for that I think we are all pretty blessed!

Ok, better get the girl.  Oh, and don't you love the picture of my man and those beautiful babies? Props to Karmon Franklin for being able to capture anything close to smiles!