My Story.

I have written so many things this past week, thought so many thoughts, had so many conversations in my head.  I'm unsure how to share a story of sadness and joy. Longing to express my heart, but insecure in where to start and stop.  My wise husband said, "just share, it's your story."

We lost a little life last week.  A little baby with a beating heart that did not make it to the security of Mommy's womb. Ectopic pregnancy - one of those strange, "wouldn't happen to me" things that happened.  I mourn for that little life, that beating heart that felt safe.  That is now safe, not in my womb, but in the hands of his or her Maker.

We discovered another little life last week.  A little baby with a beating heart in the security of my womb.  Two babies, one that had to be taken from me, and one I am blessed to hold and carry for awhile longer. And so I mourn and I rejoice and sometimes I don't know what I'm doing when.

And God is with me and he carries me.  I explained this evening to my three year old how God is the One that knows everything.  That we are ok, even when we don't know because He knows.  The truth of those words hit me now and I'm overhwhelmed by a God who knows, a God who is.  And my heart beats in the security of His arms.  And ultimately I rejoice because He's got us and we are all ok.