Confessions of a Mommy on a Grumpy Day

So, it's never a good sign when mommy wakes up grumpy. Maybe it was the fact that I knew the 80 degree whether had gone away for awhile. Maybe it was the knowledge that I had a lot to accomplish on a two baby day. Maybe it was the truth that 6 hours of sleep just isn't cutting it for me. Whatever the excuse, I knew as soon as a woke up that I didn't feel like a happy camper and worse yet I wasn't sure that I felt like changing my attitude. Ever have one of those days?

And why is it that when you wake up grumpy, your baby wakes up grumpy too? Now I know that it may just be my perception and it may be my baby reacting to my mood, but however you look at it - it's been a grumpy day.

I must say, some of my grumpiness has subsided (and it doesn't hurt that I actually have two sleeping babies right now!). But, I thought I would take this opportunity to reflect on some of the less wonderful things about motherhood. Because the truth is that I love being a mommy, and whenever asked I can share a hundred things I love about it. But it's only on grumpy days that I feel I can share some of the hardships, and they deserve to be shared as well I think.

So here goes - Sleep. I never knew how much I loved, adored, desired it. It's a wonderful thing. And I have an eight month old that more often than not does not sleep through the night. We've had wonderful stretches, starting at just two months old, where she would do so. However, she always seems to give it up. I know there are all kinds of ideas and methods on how to get your baby to sleep through the night. I've studied all of them and even tried a few. The simple fact is that I don't like any of them and in the middle of the night it is still easier for me to feed that little snuggle bug and put her back to bed than it is to listen to her scream. As I write this I think we may be improving in this area, but it's to soon to tell :)

Teething - why did God not see it fit for babies to be born with all their teeth? I know, that's a funny picture and I'm sure God had some good reasons, but teething is tough and I'm not even the one feeling the physical pain. And here's the next question, why does Natalie always cut a new tooth on days that Amirah is here? It's hard enough to take care of a teething baby. It feels almost impossible to take care of one when there is another baby in your care as well. Then the tooth comes and you feel quite accomplished. You know you are a mommy when you swell with pride at the sight of a new tooth.

Nursing - I love nursing my baby. This was not always the case. In fact I would almost say I hated it in the beginning and the only reason that we've reached this point is because I am too stubborn to quit. This being said, there is nothing that makes you feel more attached to your baby than nursing. This is a very positive thing, but can also be a very frustrating thing. I know this doesn't have to be the case - I could have bought a better pump or trained Natalie to take formula from time to time, but I didn't. And so I cannot leave this child without thinking about how she is going to eat and what I am going to do when she doesn't eat from me. Not only that, but I am quite sure Natalie is the worst public nurser ever - she was from day one. She is just so nosy that there is no being discreet. Oh well, I do love her nosiness (sp?), so I guess I'll deal with it.

There are tons more things that I adore about mommyhood than I dislike, so my next post will probably be filled with those in typical mommy fashion. But for now, these are a few of my confessions on a grumpy day :)

Great Grandma

My mom, sisters, niece, daughter and myself all got together at my Grandma's house this week. What a blessing to spend a day with my favorite girls. It is so special watching Grandma with Natalie and Amirah. She is truly enjoying being a Great Grandma. She waited a long time and then got four great grandkids all within a year! I'm grateful for the opportunity Natalie has to form a relationship with her right now. And it makes me sad that the rest of my grandparents aren't around to see my precious little girl. However, what a heritage she has, and that can't be taken from her.

Growing up!

Natalie will be seven months next week. How did this happen? Six months was that big milestone and now we are past it and heading towards one year! I can't believe how much Natalie is growing and changing. This last month has made a big difference. She is rolling over both ways and so can get anywhere she wants to. She has also learned to scoot around, mostly backwards, but it is amazing how she moves. I know she will be crawling soon. She is also sleeping through the night now, which has been so great. She will sleep 11-12 hours! I think we owe it to her thumb. This girl loves to eat. So far any food we have given her she has loved. We have tried all our vegetables and now are working on fruits. I hope she continues to be a good eater like this. She is also mastering the art of picking up cheerios. It is so funny to watch and it keeps her entertained while Hans and I eat dinner. We just can't give her too many at one time or they will all be in her little mouth at once. She brings so much joy to our days with her grins and squeals. One of her favorite things is seeing herself in the mirror. She is always quite pleased with herself!

Blessings

I write this as I listen to the State of the Union address. I want to be overwhelmed by where we are, the circumstances surrounding us - personally and as a Nation. Yet, my purpose for updating this blog today is the joy of baby giggles and new teeth; chubby cheeks smeared with carrots; tiny fingers grasping toys, and hair, and anything within reach; the tiny rosebud lips of a brand new life; laughter shared with the man of my dreams. These are blessings, and I will not be overwhelmed. We are taken care of' even when it doesn't look like I expected. I'm in the most capable hands of my Father. And so we will persevere, and we will look to the beauty around us. Not ignoring the difficulties, but embracing the life that stands. I am blessed and will continue to choose joy and thank my God for this life.

Chubby Cheeks

My brand new niece, Amirah Grace

More Christmas!

Here are some pictures from the rest of our Christmas celebrations.

A Very Merry Christmas!

Natalie's first Christmas was a lot of fun ... and we still have more festivities to go! We learned that baby's don't care much about tradition. We always open gifts with my family on Christmas Eve - this didn't fit into Natalie's schedule. We ended up putting her to bed and opening her presents in the morning. She was much happier. What a lucky little girl she was - she came away with a lot of presents!

I still can't believe how much she is growing up and all the things she is able to do. Many of her Christmas gifts were things she can grow into, but she really tries to play with them all - it's so fun to watch. She is so, so close to rolling over but just can't quite get over her arm. She gets frustrated when she can't reach the toy she's after. Here are some pics from her first Christmas and her first big snow we had the weekend before.

My first snow!

Snuggling with Auntie Monica and my new baby

Enjoying my book from Great Grandma Harnish

My girl!

My girl is four months old already! I cannot believe how quickly time is moving - a little bit it makes me want to stop time for awhile. The thing is that even though I already miss those precious newborn days, I fall more and more in love with Natalie and who she is everyday. She is quite the little noisemaker (I say this comes straight from her Daddy and Grandma agrees!). When she gets excited she just starts to squeal. Sometimes it's almost so loud you want to cover your ears - I love it! She is playing with her toys now. She loves the opportunity to get anything in her little hands and of course takes it straight to her mouth. She's been sitting in the exersaucer some and she will work and work to get a toy to her mouth only so see it spring away again. We started giving her rice cereal last week. She really likes it, as I thought she would - this girl likes her food! She looks so grownup sitting in her highchair and eating from a spoon! I had her at the doctor yesterday. She weighs 15 lbs 9 oz and is 25 and 3/4 in. tall - a growing girl! I put most of her 3-6 months clothes away a couple weeks ago and we had to go buy her more 6-9 month clothes. I keep looking in her closet at my favorite 3-6 month dress and know that she will be 9 years old and I will still be wanting her to wear it! Anyway here are a few pictures of my girl!