Today's Favorite Memory

I love evenings where we are not in a rush and Hans and Natalie have time to play while I clean up after dinner. Tonight was one of those nights. At one point Hans was hiding from Natalie. She found him and then decided she was going to hide. I peeked into the living room to see her "hiding" in front of the toy box. The expectation on her little face was delightful. Hans and I couldn't help but to laugh.

My own relationship with my Dad has taught me so much about my heavenly Father, but watching my husband and my little girl brings a whole new perspective. I love it, and it challenges me - the joy I see in both of their faces as they play together, the pure trust that Natalie has in her Daddy, the awe he holds in her eyes, the patience Hans shows in teaching his little girl new things. I have so much to learn, and I am so blessed by these two delightful people and by my heavenly Daddy.

Sweet Springtime!

The Weekend

I love weekends - there's just something about them. Not much changes, and yet everything changes. This weekend was a particularly lovely and relaxing one for us. And since Amirah didn't come around today and Hans was home, it was like a three day weekend.

Natalie is at such a fun age. I know I say this about every stage she is at, but I just truly love where she is right now! She talks nonstop these days. She finds herself particularly funny - I love the confidence of toddlers. It's a common occurrence for her to laugh and laugh at something she says or does. She makes the goofiest faces. I just love her. I think Hans and I have spent half the weekend just laughing at her antics.

Hans did some projects for me today which I'm so excited about. He put a new screen door on our back porch, since the one we had was falling apart and put extra shelves in our laundry room! I am so excited about some extra storage space.

One last random thought - I am at this particularly awkward stage of pregnancy. Ok, most stages of pregnancy are rather awkward, but this is the stage where my clothes are getting more and more uncomfortable and/or impossible for me to wear and I don't feel nearly ready for maternity clothes. With Natalie, the thought of maternity clothes was somewhat exciting, this time around I'm putting that off as long as possible... like next week?!

New Life

I don't even know where to begin this story. It is the story of the past three months of our lives but so, so much more than that. It's the story that resonates over and over in our lives of the faithful God we serve. All glory, wonder, awe.... belong to Him!

The end of January I found out I was pregnant. We were thrilled and in my mind I quickly began the planning process - will it be a boy or a girl? where will the baby sleep? how will Natalie feel? I need to buy diapers, I need to buy clothes, Natalie will need a new bed - the process I think only a mother can truly understand.

A week later I had some bleeding and cramping and was sent for an ultrasound. The ultrasound revealed a gestational sac with no baby inside. A few days later blood work showed that my hormone levels were basically back to a pre-pregnancy level. I had lost the baby. The choice was a D & C or to wait and let the process happen naturally. I chose to wait. And so began the mourning process.

Fast forward a month and a half. I feel pregnant again. After thinking about it for awhile I finally worked up the nerve to take a pregnancy test and sure enough it was positive. With some reluctance I returned to the doctor to see what was happening. Best case scenario in my mind I'm about six weeks pregnant with a new pregnancy. Worst case scenario, I'm still dealing with hormones leftover from the first pregnancy.

I make it to the doctor, with my husband by my side, feeling excited, but a little unsure. She tells me that if I still have pregnancy tissue in my body left from the first pregnancy that may give me a positive pregnancy test. She begins the ultrasound. And I don't think I will ever forget the words that come next. "Are you ready for this?" How do answer that? She turns the screen around to reveal not pregnancy tissue, not a 6 or 7 week old fetus, but an almost 15 week old baby with a beating heart and flailing limbs! I never miscarried.

I wish I have a view into what went on in my womb the past three months. I can't know that. The thing I know is that God has been faithful again, the whole time. He was faithful when I found out I was pregnant, He was faithful when I was devastated over miscarrying, He was faithful as I watched the beating heart of that beautiful baby, and He will continue to be the same. Maybe the doctors were wrong and the baby was fine and healthy the whole time. Maybe the baby wasn't fine and healthy and God brought new life. Either way, He's good and we're ecstatic! Baby #2 makes his or her entrance into the world the beginning of October!

A little Spring!

Here are my gardeners - I have such good help! It was so fun watching them "work" together while I cleaned up the kitchen last night. I'm pretty sure Natalie was telling Hans exactly what to do.

Here is the wreath I made for my door this Spring. I got the idea here. I love having a wreath for my door, but I never feel like paying money for one. This still cost me some money because my craft supplies are limited, but it was fun to do!

E-I-E-I-O

I had a coupon for a free frappé at McDonald's, so even though the girls and I weren't feeling all that well, I decided we had to get out of the house for a little while Friday afternoon. They seemed excited to be getting their shoes and coats on after a week spent mostly at home. I said, "girls we are going to get a treat. We are going to McDonald's." They both looked at me with excitement in their eyes and exclaimed,"E-I-E-I-O?" Ok, so they don't really know what McDonald's is, but they made my day :)

Perspective

One teething toddler and one with a fever - sounds like a recipe for disaster. And so far this week it almost has been, and that was even before I got sick. Then this morning I'm sitting in the living room watching the girls play contently and all of sudden it's worthwhile. All of it. The snot, the screams, the lack of sleep. I tried several times to make myself take advantage of the happy moment and sneak out to the kitchen, but there I sat.... watching my girls, beautiful girls. That's all I needed to do.